Time to introspect...

Yet another heart breaking news from my country India. 5 year old girl in Bihar raped and killed. As if the Delhi gang rape incident was not enough to make me go restless. Day after day one hears about such traumatic and unfortunate incidents taking place in one or the other part of our country. We give an ear to it and then as usual continue living our lives because we are so confident of the fact that "IT CANNOT HAPPEN TO ME, SO WHY BOTHER". Exactly what we think about another menace called CANCER. We have this feeling that it is something that is not meant for me. Sadly but the fact is that I/WE can be a victim, today or tomorrow.

Time to think and take these incidents seriously and ponder upon. What is it that we as a part of civil society can do to STOP these shameful acts?. It is not only our responsibility but the people governing us also have to play a major role in it. BUT again we all know how it is back there?. To expect our Leaders to do something out of box for us is unimaginable unless and until they dont see their benefit or we don't force them to come forward !.

We have to continue mount our pressures and make the Governing bodies realize that RAPE is something which we wont tolerate happening anymore in our society. We will not subject ourselves, our daughters, sisters, mothers, friends, wives to this heinous crime and if it happens God forbid, we will raise our voices and throw you out.

The laws regarding RAPE need to be mended. We need application of law and not the application of personal views. We need a faster criminal justice system. We need police doing their job. It is here where lapses take place, it is here where a case is decided. It is here where a judgement is passed weather to prove innocent or to prove guilty, it is here where a women's integrity and honor can be restored back. We as a society have to force for an effective Policing which will be a beginning for removing such shame from our society.

Then back at home we have to ensure that we treat our kids at par. We have to ensure that we don't differentiate and make boys feel in any which way superior to girls. We have to stop growing that male ego attitude at homes and also have to encourage our daughters to be self dependent, strong and someone who carries her own opinion. We have to teach our children to respect humanity and the  Laws of the land. We also should start with sex education at schools and home as early as possible. The more we suppress issues related to SEX the more curiosity and opportunities to experiment with it are thrown open, which in turn is and can prove very harmful.

We also have to ensure that our Films, TV serials, theater and other visual mediums send  positive messages in the society. We take our films and dramas very seriously and are used to getting influenced by them very easily. In Films and dramas we should stop glorifying unnatural things which is beyond the reach of a common man. We should stop projecting our female character as showpiece, helpless or as suppressed "NAARI" who is always at helm of some Superman. Project our females as they are today, strong, stable, independent and with her own mind and someone who can be fat who can be average looking who can be wheatish and yet emerges as a winner without the help of a so called called Superhero or for that matter anyone else. Remove this image of "ABLA NAARI" and portray us as we are strong, intelligent, independent and capable of taking care of ourselves.

Also our NGO, Corporates, Clubs etc will have to come forward to help in spreading education amongst the poor section of our society and from time to time giving various motivational tools which will encourage them to think in a different way.

I also think  that we need to bring more women to education and jobs, especially on streets. 

As Brigham Young has rightly said “You educate a man; you educate a man. You educate a woman; you educate a generation.”

LET US BEGIN!

Weihnacht's Wonder

Birth of Jesus

Ever since I was a kid, was fascinated by Christmas and Lord Jesus. Maybe it started at school which was a Missionary, but till today fascination for the same has remained. Whenever Christmas was to come in Kashmir all of a sudden my woes would vanish in thin air and I would shine like a star! Christmas in Kashmir meant Cake from Jan bakery and going to church with my Bade Papa who was the only member of my family who encouraged me to follow what my heart likes. Ah! I felt like a queen on this day moving around in a chauffeur driven car then buying candle then praying before the Lord and then cutting the cake and distributing it among family. Unfortunately, due to migration I no longer could celebrate this Day. I don't know with loosing a home I somewhere lost the enthusiasm and faith. Hence Christmas was never ever celebrated again till the time I shifted to Germany. But the pain of not celebrating it kept tickling me.

Weihnachtsbeleuchtung

Mutter Maria

Germany gave me a new lease of life and gave me back my dreams to follow. Germany! Thank you so much. I love you and owe a lot to you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

In Germany, Christmas is called Weihnacht and the celebration for the same starts one month before. The entire city is illuminated with lights and from place to place you will find Weihnachtsmarket. In-fact Nürnberg holds the world's biggest Weihnacht's market. Laks and lacs of people travel to this part of the Germany only to have a glimpse of this market, in Winter.

Bayrische Schanz

Illumination

I live in "Main Spessart" and we also have these markets. One such famous market is held in the middle of "Main Spessart" and is called "Bayrische Schanz Weihnachtsmarkt". It is really beautiful and if there is snow then it becomes magical.

In these markets you see all kinds of things made of normally wood, glass and stone with you can decorate your home, your tree or wherever you want to!. The specialty of these markets is a special type of Wine which is called Glühwein. This is a hot wine cooked in herbs like cinnamon, cloves, honey etc.. Trust me, it tastes like Divine and within no seconds after drinking it you are on top of the world:). Also don't forget to taste Lebkuchen - A traditional German baked Christmas treat, somewhat resembling gingerbread and the ingredients for the same usually include honey and spices such as aniseed, coriander, cloves, ginger, cardamom and nuts including almonds, hazelnuts, and walnuts, or candied fruit.

Main Spessart

Weihnachtsmarkt

Weihnachtsmarkt

Wooden and Stone Figures

Holzkrippe

Hand made Decorations

Licht Sterne

Stein Pilz

All these wonderful things and the atmosphere, filled with peace, happiness, joy and hope forced me to celebrate one of my favorite festival, once again!. I realized how much i have been missing in my life by not embracing it. Christmas has made me alive again and it has spread happiness and joy in my life. Though, I lost my Home, my School, my Jan Baker, my Church and above all my Bade Papa but that inner peace and happiness was brought back by this wonderful, wonderful festival.

Let this Christmas fill your hearts with love, joy, peace and happiness and hope it does wonders for you, the way it has for me!!!

Child abuse or Cultural differences?

Today is really one of the saddest day of my life. I feel, i have failed as a human being, as a parent and as a social worker. Early morning, I read about the Indian couple getting sentenced for 18 and 15 months for the child abuse in Norway. It sent shivers down my spine. Parents being punished for punishing their child, in order to make him a better person!

This is not the first time that something like this has happened with Indians living abroad. The memories of another Indian parents (Anurup and Sagarika Bhattacharya) being punished in Norway for child abuse and taking their 3 and 1 yr old child away from them and giving the custody of these unfortunate children to their uncle, is still afresh in our minds and now this.

India is a country where children especially boys live with their parents even after getting married and having own children.Indians make their children sleep with them sharing the same bed and same room. We have no concept of having a Kinder room or having a separate bed for a child till he or she is grown up enough to take care of himself or herself. Even after becoming adults children share their beds or rooms with their grandparents or siblings or in joint family with their cousins. This is our social system. We cannot imagine or think off placing a new born baby in a cradle or in a different room. Our parents spend almost entire life in taking care and protecting her children. We have no concept of having a family without children .Indian parents life begins with kids and ends with kids.

The environment around our children and to have sense of recognition amongst  hundreds of kids is enormous. Each child wants to come up and prove his/her worth because if he/she cannot then it is a big failure on their part but on the part of parents. The cut throat competition, lack of infrastructure, financial constraints and on top social norms make parents as well as our kids aggressive and thriving for the best. In this course the parents most of the time are harsh with their children and the measures taken to bring best in children is certainly not abuse, in any which way. They are just the corrective measures which actually help in keeping the children on right path and preparing him/her for tough life ahead.

Unfortunately countries like Noway have a different social set up. Their children leave their parents on being adult and from day one they are used to sleeping alone and taking care of themselves. If a child beyond certain age remains with his parents it is considered a big disorder and making child sleep with you a sexual abuse.Also in these countries if or not a child studies is not a major issue at all because other then education there are many many other ways by which he/she can establish himself in the society and the social system offers great support to such people. There is no shame in  not being perfect in every sphere of life.It is normal to have average or below average set of skills and yet be accepted in the society and this in no way hinder their growth and prosperity in the society.Hence the pressure on the parents as well as on the children is hardly any. 

Countries like Norway have to understand that Indian social set up is different form their social set up and if an Indian comes in their land permanently or temporarily it will take time for them to adapt to the new environment and the thing which they are used to since birth cannot be changed over night.They have to understand that this is the cultural difference and not any abuse!. Also it is important that India/Corporates should educate their people going abroad about the different cultural norms of such countries.

Indian diplomacy and media have to play a major role in educating west about our cultural norms and also people like me who have decided to make a foreign country as our other home. In order to stop such acts we have to begin now and hope that our efforts will yield results and parents like Bhattacharyas and Vallabhaneni's do not suffer in future.

All said and done frankly speaking I feel there is more to it. In today's world how is it possible that Norway is unaware about our cultural norms and the way we bring up our children...

Another interesting article on same topic read at Gaelikaa's Diary