Today is really one of the saddest day of my life. I feel, i have failed
as a human being, as a parent and as a social worker. Early morning, I read
about the Indian couple getting sentenced for 18 and 15 months for the
child abuse in Norway. It sent shivers down my spine. Parents being
punished for punishing their child, in order to make him a better person!
This is not the first time that something like this has happened with Indians living abroad. The memories of another Indian parents (Anurup
and Sagarika Bhattacharya) being punished in Norway for child abuse and
taking their 3 and 1 yr old child away from them and giving the custody
of these unfortunate children to their uncle, is still afresh in our
minds and now this.
India is a country where children especially boys live with their parents even after getting married and having own children.Indians make their children sleep with them sharing the same bed and same room. We have no concept of having a Kinder room or having a separate bed for a child till he or she is grown up enough to take care of himself or herself. Even after becoming adults children share their beds or rooms with their grandparents or siblings or in joint family with their cousins. This is our social system. We cannot imagine or think off placing a new born baby in a cradle or in a different room. Our parents spend almost entire life in taking care and protecting her children. We have no concept of having a family without children .Indian parents life begins with kids and ends with kids.
The environment around our children and to have sense of recognition amongst
hundreds of kids is enormous. Each child wants
to come up and prove his/her worth because if he/she cannot then it is a
big failure on their part but on the part of parents. The cut throat
competition, lack of infrastructure, financial constraints and on top
social norms make parents as well as our kids aggressive and thriving
for the best. In this course the parents most of the time are harsh with
their children and the measures taken to bring best in children is certainly not
abuse, in any which way. They are just the corrective measures which actually
help in keeping the children on right path and preparing him/her for
tough life ahead.
Unfortunately countries like Noway have a different social set up. Their children leave their parents on being adult and from day one they are used to sleeping alone and taking care of themselves. If a child beyond certain age remains with his parents it is considered a big disorder and making child sleep with you a sexual abuse.Also in these countries if or not a child studies is not a major issue at all because other then education there are many many other ways by which he/she can establish himself in the society and the social system offers great support to such people. There is no shame in not being perfect in every sphere of life.It is normal to have average or below average set of skills and yet be accepted in the society and this in no way hinder their growth and prosperity in the society.Hence the pressure on the parents as well as on the children is hardly any.
Countries like Norway have to understand that Indian social set up is different form their social set up and if an Indian comes in their land permanently or temporarily it will take time for them to adapt to the new environment and the thing which they are used to since birth cannot be changed over night.They have to understand that this is the cultural difference and not any abuse!. Also it is important that India/Corporates should educate their people going abroad about the different cultural norms of such countries.
Indian diplomacy and media have to play a major role in educating
west about our cultural norms and also people like me who have decided
to make a foreign country as our other home. In order to stop such acts
we have to begin now and hope that our efforts will yield results and
parents like Bhattacharyas and Vallabhaneni's do not suffer in future.
All said and done frankly speaking I feel there is more to it. In today's world how is it possible that Norway is unaware about our cultural norms and the way we bring up our children...
Another interesting article on same topic read at Gaelikaa's Diary
