Walking Down The Memory Lane

Though I have left my country INDIA way back but still keep myself connected with it by print and electronic media. Past few days I am coming across various news regarding molestation and stripping of girls by teachers, by roadside goons, by cops etc. The recent one where a girl was asked to drink her own urine by her teacher tore my heart away. What has gone wrong with us ?. In which era are we people living in and why are we still slaves ???. We say on International forums that we are country which is being led by a woman President ?. We say on international forums that we are on the verge of becoming super power soon ?. We say on international forums that we are the most fast growing and developing country of the world and yet we end up in behaving like TALIBAN. In fact I find we are worst then Taliban`s. They do what they say and do it openly but we do something,say something and show something else !!!.

Somewhere deep down, I cannot seem to detach myself from those all girls back in India who are victim of our corrupt and failed society. Actually it reminds me of a similar kind of an incident which took place with me at my school Presentation Convent, Srinagar. Maybe that's why I can feel their pain and suffering and understand through which hell they and their families must be going through.at the same time I am also happy with this fact that at least today there is someone to listen to their woes and pleads and that is MEDIA and Social Networking. Media has come out openly in their support and they can freely express their feelings and seek Justice. Whether they get justice or not is a separate issue but at least they are raising their voices against in human acts. I am sure if not today but tomorrow someone, somewhere is going to get benefited by this.

What is happening is shameful but there is a ray of hope but unfortunately back there in 80`s we only had Doordarshan and no private channels. Hence surfacing of such similar incidents was out of question: Flow of information from one state to another was almost impossible and God only knows how many such incidents must have taken place and how many victims like me must have kept silent due to the fear of getting expelled from Schools or no one believing them and hence facing backlash from society or even by their own family members.

Today after 2 decades I have the courage to speak about my pain and my trauma that had shattered my inner self and actually started believing that  - I AM A LOOSER. Thanks to my parents who brought back my confidence in me and made me believe in myself again. Had it not been without them I would have either ended up in committing suicide or I would have left my studies.

Well it still hurts to remember about that incident which actually changed my life. I was in 7th standard and our class teacher was Mrs. Sehgal. It was our history period and we were all in our classrooms. In fact before this class we were in the school ground for PT. Anyways suddenly Mrs.Sehgal comes in our class and ask me to follow her out of the class as she has needs to talk to me regarding something. I was scared and wondered why am I asked to do so but without raising question; I went out of the class with her. Outside she tells me that our Principle Sister Elvira wants to talk to me. I asked what is it all about she said there has been a complaint against me. I was shocked. I had no idea what on earth she was talking about. I held her hand tightly and said Ma'am I have done nothing. She just kept quite and didn't answer me. I asked again Ma'am what is it all about still she kept quite. She took me in a room which was at the back of our Auditorium in first floor of our school and I noticed that this room was really dark and I could barely see anything or anyone. It scared me even more. I held my Ma'am 's hand and cried loudly. Why are we here ?. She said Sister Elvira is waiting for me here only and then I turned my head and heard the voice saying come here Indu. I somehow could see my principal. She was sitting in a chair and looked dreadful and trust me like a ghost in that darkness. Her voice was cold and firm. I remember I was standing in front of her and she was observing me with her eyes for about 5-10 minutes. Gosh those cold eyes were piercing me through and I was thinking why the hell am I here ?. I somehow drew some courage and asked her what have I done and she replied coldly "you are a thief, you have stolen some things from one girl (whom i wont name ) of your class". I looked at her in shock and said NO, that is not true. I am not a thief. I have not stolen anything from anyone. She spat back, "Oh yes! you have, that girl has named you." I swore that I was innocent and by this time tears had already started flowing down. I was pleading and swearing but she was not listening. She choose to become deaf and dumb at that moment. She said if I don't accept my mistake she will expel me from the school and I will not get admission in any other School in Kashmir. I also remember she saying that she will do this in front of the whole school during assembly in the morning and then everyone will spit on me and make fun of me. I kept crying and kept saying there is a mistake. I haven't done anything wrong. Then all of a sudden she told me that she wanted to frisk me, as I might have hidden money and paintings (imagine) in my uniform or shoes. I was literally dead by then. It was something that ripped my innocent soul but I had no other way. I had to do it and SHE FRISKED ME. WHILE BEING FRISKED I WISHED I COULD DIE THERE AND THEN ONLY. My modesty was outraged for the crime that I never committed. Even after all this she did not believe me, she had the guts to tell me again that if I don't accept my mistake she will carry on with her threat of expelling me. I told her I have not done it.In fact during PT period I was there in the playground with entire class and she can check it with our PT Sir and with the girls with whom I was sitting if or not I was there. She can also check my bag. She gets up and give me again that murderous look and walks out of that room. I kept standing there and crying God knows for how many minuets or hours and the finally Mrs. Sehgal comes and tells me to go back to my class. I walked like a dead soul and could not control my tears. My friends asked me what happened but I could not tell them. I was scared that they will also think like them and I will loose them. All I could do was cry and wonder why that girl framed me and why without any proof I was punished and made to go thorough such hell ????.

I went home and told about this incident to my parents and I was firm that I will not be going to school from morning. My parents calmed me down and assured me of their full support and love. For next 5 days I was running with high fever and I was asking god to take me away. This incident was too much for my young mind and soul to accept. All i kept asking was WHY ME ?.WHY ME ?.WHY ME.?

In the meantime my father went to school and confronted our Principal and ALL SHE HAD TO SAY WAS SORRY.

I joined back my school after 1 week and everything seem normal. Mrs. Sehgal had no words for me nor our Principal. They were behaving normally as if nothing had happened !!! Only I knew what was going in my mind and heart. Frankly speaking something very innocent deep down had died in me and I vowed to take my revenge when ever I can and maybe today is the time when I can actually think of giving it back to them. Wish we had such active media back then, maybe I too would have got justice......

By marring my self respect what have those people gained ????. In fact they have made me more strong and have given me courage to stand up for myself and raise my voice. But I will never ever forgive them for the damage that they did to my innocent mind and soul which could have ruined my life or their`s too. Thinking about it still makes me cry and shiver and I still wonder what would have happened if my parents would not have stood by me. Would I be alive today or would they be alive ?. Swear there were times when I actually thought of taking law in my own hands.

If I get a chance I would actually like to get Justice today in the Court Of law..............

SEXUALLY ABUSED AND YET BALMED FOR IT

Sarah Keith was an innocent and a naive young girl who wanted to live her life as per her own conditions. She wanted to explore the world, ALONE. She wanted to make her parents especially her mom proud of her. Her mom Jennie Keith was equally innocent and simpleton as her daughter but sadly her whole life as a wife was smitten by her sister in law who was dominating, rude and always at something.

Unfortunately due to Tsunami in Sarah's region, everyone abandoned their homes including Keith's. This natural calamity shattered homes, people (old, young & newborn)  and their lives. But for Jennie, it was a blessing in disguise as she no longer had to share her future life with her sister in law. Due to migration and then living in a metro, changed things, drastically. Everyone scattered all over for living and the joint family system automatically shifted to Nuclear family.

New place ,new people and new climate made it difficult to survive but Keith's were strong enough and they managed to survive. Sarah was keen on giving everything back to her family. So she decided to go for a degree of Engineering, which would guarantee her good job with good remuneration, in future. She qualified it and with her she took few of her family friends along with, so that they too  get benefited.

Sarah was excited and happy to join a professional course. She was desperately looking forward to her  new course and to the students who would be her classmate for next 4 years. It was co-ed and hence that made it more exciting.

Sarah has always been very pretty and very intelligent. She had this belief that she could do anything and everything. In fact she truly believed that she was more stronger, more intelligent and more human then all the guys around. She would conquer the world one day.

Sarah was afraid of God & God only. She was adventurous and loved to experiment with her hair. Sometimes she would  go bald, sometimes she would go for perming and sometimes would colour her hair. She was so free spirited. These attributes made her different from other student friends around. She was seen as a rebel and slowly and slowly her own friends started framing wrong opinion about her. She was termed as a REBEL & A LOOSE CHARACTER FEMALE.

Incident No. 1.

Then came the HOLI. Wow! Festival of colour and BHAANG. Whole night Sarah along with her friends churned bhaang and made fruit punch. The day had started and with oil all over the bodies and hair Sarah started playing with colours and water. It was so fun and she was loving every bit of it and then suddenly few male friends came down to play too. The senior most among them was Majuba who was respected and regarded the most among the Tsunami hit lot. He was working with a govt run agency and had taken leave to complete his professional degree. Everyone used to visit him for advice and for help. He was considered as GURU. Well the game begins and everyone is drinking, playing and enjoying. Then all of a sudden Majuba approaches Sarah and smears colour on her face after this he tries throwing water and poor Sarah runs, she does not want to get wet like this. Majuba runs after her and catches her from behind and then all of a sudden he squeezes her assets and push himself hard against her. Sarah is shocked and she tries to free herself but the demon had taken the charge and he was crushing her dignity, her body and above all her soul. Somehow she freed herself and ran inside her house and shut herself down. Sarah was shaking with fear, shock and anger. The person they trusted most had turned Raavan today. Outside the world was enjoying and  moving on. Somewhere someone was dying ...

Sarah choose to discuss about this incident with her friends but unfortunately she got another shock when everyone refused to buy her story. They again termed her as a LIAR. How can Majuba do like this ?. He is not like this and of all the people why he choose a girl like you ?. You are lying and defaming a saintly person like Majuba. You can be wrong but Majuba, NO, NEVER.

Was it due to jealousy or they were scared of getting branded or it was their complexities, whatever the reason, Sarah had to pay the price. SARAH FOR THEM BECAME UNTOUCHABLE. People were hoping Majuba would top the course. The results were declared. Sarah had topped the course and most of her EX FRIENDS flunked, Majuba barely managed to pass and today he is where he was 20 years back ,with the same Govt run agency.

Incident No. 2.

One hurdle was crossed and now the challenge started. Sarah started looking for job and as good luck prevailed she got into a steel industry where she worked for 3 years and then due to her knowledge, nack for things and intelligence she went on to become the VP of one of the most reputed company of the world. She was the youngest VP among her lot and every where her named was flashed, in magazines, in newspaper, in TV, everywhere. It was Sarah and only Sarah.

Her new Director Mr. Sinha, was very calm and a rustic fellow whose wife used to accompany him most of times in office. Gradually Sarah and her interaction with Sinha family increased and they became good friends so much so that after work Sarah started sleeping in their house only. One day Mrs.Sinha had gone out for shopping Sarah drops in Mr.Sinha makes her comfortable and then the DEMON took the charge again and once again Sarah's modesty was challenged and humiliated.

Mrs. Sinha's PATI PARMESHWAR could not do this ?. He was God to her and to everyone around. Sarah left the job and the place. Eventually, Mr. Sinha divorced Mrs. Sinha and went ahead to marry his Secretary.

Incident No. 3.

Sarah came back to her parents house and with the help of one community leader she got a damn good job in a Newspaper Agency. Everything was going well and Sarah was enjoying her work. One fine day her boss called her in his room to discuss something important and the moment Sarah entered his chamber, he pounced on her and started fiddling around. By this time Sarah had gathered enough courage to give it back. She slapped her boss tightly and went out and resigned immediatly.

Next week she went for her salary collection and was told by the accountant that company owes her nothing. She went and discussed about the incident with the local leader and his Director friend who were instrumental in giving her job in that office. They assure sarah that they would do something about it. Sarah waited for days, then for months and then for years ... Nothing has happened. Few years later she met the Local leader again and he told her that his Director friend has obtained the real information from that Newspaper Owner and the truth is that you were sleeping around with the boss of yours for which he used to pay you. Since your demands for more rewards and cash increased so the BOSS decided to kick you out. I know whatever my Director friend is saying is true .He can never be wrong nor can be the Newspaper Owner.

Today this Local leader, the newspaper guy and the Director friend  have become worst enemies because the Director friend had stolen away the story which the Local leader had written and the newspaper owner has shown boots to both of them and aquired new set of friends.

Sarah started her own business and today she is very successful. She runs her company well and is happily married and settled with her loving husband and two sons. Jennie proudly boosts about her daughters achievement and she no longer is smitten by anyone as her daughter has become UNTOUCHABLE AGAIN!!!

Ruchika molestation case made Sarah wonder if she should also go ahead and make all those people pay, who had not only physically but mentally molested her.

I leave it to my readers to suggest as to what Sarah should do ?.

Will the world stand by her this time ?.

Will she make a difference to all those people who are suffering because of it ?.

Or else should she forget everything and move on ...